In school we were taught basic rules that kept students from stealing from their classmates. As we grew older, status symbols from toys to fashion, from cars to talents became the currencies of 'desire'. Those that possessed that which was desirable became the gatekeepers of power. Human beings desire and want because it is in our nature to do so. We stockpile and horde objects of 'value' simply for the sake of possessing. Somehow the knowledge of possession offers us a sense of security...
Construction is an interesting business. It's both blue and white collar. One minute you're meeting with clients, architects, engineers, and another you are speaking other languages like Spanish and laughing at inside jokes with guys in the field. It's the collaborative effort of those on top of the social ladder all the way down to the bottom rung, from pharaoh to subject.
My father is a Taurus and part of his nature is to collect objects he deems of value. Tauri (okay Tauruses) are also known for their attachments to property. A few years back, with a slowing economy my father decided to downsize his construction company which involved moving office spaces from a sizeable 10,000sf behemoth to an office roughly a quarter the size. We had to give away most of his 'possessions'. It was heartbreaking to witness, let alone participate in the 'heavy lifting'. It seemed pointless to move the heavy construction supplies from one warehouse to another (several times) sustaining damages to both the materials and our bodies throughout the process. I had spent hundreds of hours organizing and keeping the warehouse clean and functional only to watch it being dismantled and discarded carelessly.
Over the years my father would reclaim unused building materials which came in handy every now and then when we needed a replacement gasket, door, electric or plumbing fixture. He was so proud of his stockpile, especially when he could efficiently locate one of the millions of stored apparatuses. I love my father, and it makes me happy to know that he gets a kick out of re-purposing unused material. Anytime I come across a job site or see a screw, nut, or bolt laying around it makes me think of him and what he would do...
People in relationships often are attracted to others who possess the traits or skills that one wishes for themselves. It may be rooted in our biology as the offspring of this union may exhibit the best qualities of both individuals; however, besides offering desirable genetic traits one must consider the parental investment. It's the classic choice of nature and nurture. Ideally a blend of both is optimal to offer any offspring the best chances of healthy emotional competency as well as their overall future happiness. Even when people are not concerned with producing offspring in relationships, this dynamic of seeking a partner with both the natural and nurturing capabilities is still sought. Individuals tend to value gifts of nature when seeking short term relationships such as physical beauty, height, intelligence, strength, or other dominant qualities. Longer term relationships seem to be founded upon gifts of nurture which include qualities related to a person's character such as charm, emotional availability, ethics, and fidelity.
When it comes to the material world, yearning to possess an object stems from a scarcity mindset. The fear of not having a perceived object of value at a needed time is the insecurity. At some point in a relationship, each party becomes a victim to a chemical romance. A partner's absence creates an imbalance of hormones like serotonin and dopamine to our perceived normal state. We begin to covet our own partner. Our desire to possess the other is an ego based illusion supported by chemical dependency. In other words, couples begin to grow addicted to one another, which is why the pain of separation is tantamount to an addict in recovery. Jealousy stems from having to share our source of joy and security. Like two children fighting over a toy, their jealousy stems from not wanting another to possess that which offers "feelings of joy". They wish to control their supply (a scarcity mindset). It's understandable.
Ultimately, wanting to possess another or wanting to be a possession is unhealthy. Our happiness and well being should be self sustaining, it should be felt in abundance; however, this is often not the case. Reality is that we grow attached to individuals (and sometimes things). We fall in love, which is the chemical equivalence of hormonal addiction. We covet our 'possessions' and jealousy begins to manifest. In order to combat this corruption of our senses, many advocate a path of detachment as seen with clergy or other spiritual leaders. An alternative path is to seek a middle ground somewhere in between complete detachment and "being in love". It is the understanding that all things of this world are transitory, yet allowing oneself to enjoy the present as a gift that was never meant to last forever. This experience allows the individual to feel gratitude which I believe is the antidote to feelings of jealousy or insecurity.
We all have metaphorical warehouses full of our stock piles of comfort and false security. We must not think but know that one day our lease will be up and we will have to let go of our source(s) of joy. It is my hope that when that day arrives, I will have mastered feeling gratitude instead of insecurity. To happily let go with the knowledge that I got to appreciate the gifts in my life while they were there, instead of lamenting over the world of possibility.