I used to believe that yearning to possess something was a good quality that drives us to ambitious heights.  I thought jealousy was a bad trait because it reflects our insecurities.  This is because I failed to see the big picture...

In school we were taught basic rules that kept students from stealing from their classmates.  As we grew older, status symbols from toys to fashion, from cars to talents became the currencies of 'desire'.  Those that possessed that which was desirable became the gatekeepers of power.  Human beings desire and want because it is in our nature to do so.  We stockpile and horde objects of 'value' simply for the sake of possessing.  Somehow the knowledge of possession offers us a sense of security...

Construction is an interesting business.  It's both blue and white collar.  One minute you're meeting with clients, architects, engineers, and another you are speaking other languages like Spanish and laughing at inside jokes with guys in the field.  It's the collaborative effort of those on top of the social ladder all the way down to the bottom rung, from pharaoh to subject.

My father is a Taurus and part of his nature is to collect objects he deems of value.  Tauri (okay Tauruses) are also known for their attachments to property.  A few years back, with a slowing economy my father decided to downsize his construction company which involved moving office spaces from a sizeable 10,000sf behemoth to an office roughly a quarter the size.  We had to give away most of his 'possessions'.  It was heartbreaking to witness, let alone participate in the 'heavy lifting'.  It seemed pointless to move the heavy construction supplies from one warehouse to another (several times) sustaining damages to both the materials and our bodies throughout the process.  I had spent hundreds of hours organizing and keeping the warehouse clean and functional only to watch it being dismantled and discarded carelessly.

Over the years my father would reclaim unused building materials which came in handy every now and then when we needed a replacement gasket, door, electric or plumbing fixture.  He was so proud of his stockpile, especially when he could efficiently locate one of the millions of stored apparatuses.  I love my father, and it makes me happy to know that he gets a kick out of re-purposing unused material.  Anytime I come across a job site or see a screw, nut, or bolt laying around it makes me think of him and what he would do...

People in relationships often are attracted to others who possess the traits or skills that one wishes for themselves.  It may be rooted in our biology as the offspring of this union may exhibit the best qualities of both individuals; however, besides offering desirable genetic traits one must consider the parental investment.  It's the classic choice of nature and nurture.  Ideally a blend of both is optimal to offer any offspring the best chances of healthy emotional competency as well as their overall future happiness.  Even when people are not concerned with producing offspring in relationships, this dynamic of seeking a partner with both the natural and nurturing capabilities is still sought.  Individuals tend to value gifts of nature when seeking short term relationships such as physical beauty, height, intelligence, strength, or other dominant qualities.  Longer term relationships seem to be founded upon gifts of nurture which include qualities related to a person's character such as charm, emotional availability, ethics, and fidelity.

When it comes to the material world, yearning to possess an object stems from a scarcity mindset.  The fear of not having a perceived object of value at a needed time is the insecurity.  At some point in a relationship, each party becomes a victim to a chemical romance.  A partner's absence creates an imbalance of hormones like serotonin and dopamine to our perceived normal state.  We begin to covet our own partner.  Our desire to possess the other is an ego based illusion supported by chemical dependency.  In other words, couples begin to grow addicted to one another, which is why the pain of separation is tantamount to an addict in recovery.  Jealousy stems from having to share our source of joy and security.  Like two children fighting over a toy, their jealousy stems from not wanting another to possess that which offers "feelings of joy".  They wish to control their supply (a scarcity mindset).  It's understandable.

Ultimately, wanting to possess another or wanting to be a possession is unhealthy.  Our happiness and well being should be self sustaining, it should be felt in abundance; however, this is often not the case.  Reality is that we grow attached to individuals (and sometimes things).  We fall in love, which is the chemical equivalence of hormonal addiction.  We covet our 'possessions' and jealousy begins to manifest.  In order to combat this corruption of our senses, many advocate a path of detachment as seen with clergy or other spiritual leaders.  An alternative path is to seek a middle ground somewhere in between complete detachment and "being in love".  It is the understanding that all things of this world are transitory, yet allowing oneself to enjoy the present as a gift that was never meant to last forever.  This experience allows the individual to feel gratitude which I believe is the antidote to feelings of jealousy or insecurity.

We all have metaphorical warehouses full of our stock piles of comfort and false security.  We must not think but know that one day our lease will be up and we will have to let go of our source(s) of joy.  It is my hope that when that day arrives, I will have mastered feeling gratitude instead of insecurity.  To happily let go with the knowledge that I got to appreciate the gifts in my life while they were there, instead of lamenting over the world of possibility.

My Father and friend are pictured here working at 2am on a concrete pouring for a school they are building.  The early morning hours allow the crew to work without the heat of the sun.  At 74, my dad is still doing what he loves!

Lately I've been writing about the dynamics of power and the divide between Men and Women.  My hope is that someday we will have peace between the classes that hold power and those that do not; between Husbands and Wives, Brothers and Sisters, Men and Women.

This year is an election year in the US where one can hardly go anywhere without hearing the political bickering between the candidates: a Billionaire Business Man and a Female Political Titan.

Once again, 'fear' is used to goad the masses into a frenzy.  People form opinions, which later fuel emotion-driven behaviors.  Hate campaigns and speeches are given which are intended to discredit or mar the opponents credibility.  Rallies are held which capitalize on groupthink to steer the direction of the herd.  These speeches are rebroadcast on television and published in online journals and newspapers to reach as wide an audience as possible.

It's a bit Orwellian in actuality to see our 'telescreens' broadcasting such messages along with our cell phones equipped with two way camera/microphones used by simple 'proles' (short speak for proletarians or common man).  In fact after numerous attempts at privacy protection with online protests such as Sopa/Pipa, it seems that individual privacy is a thing of the past.  In the name of national security, We the People have been coerced into submission by the powers that be.  This means that anything we post online whether through email, social media, or web searches are recorded as part of our digital footprint.  (Good luck to all the parents raising children in this era of online transparency.)

Today I met a man bathing in the restroom as I went to wash my hands before lunch.  He apologized and asked if I could help him with a few dollars.  He was an older man but not as old as he appeared.  His hair was still more colored than gray, and he was missing all of his teeth.  After I finished washing my hands, I invited him to join me for lunch.  While they prepared my food, I discovered that I had amassed enough 'loyalty' points and was able to secure some chips and guacamole with my meal which was more than enough for two.  We split our burrito and he introduced himself as "Popeye" (I think due to his toothless one-eyed grin).  He thanked me over again, and we both bowed our heads and gave 'thanks' before eating.  He asked if I liked music and shared that he was an Elvis Presley fan; he even belted our a few bars while we ate.  I noticed that he struggled with chewing as his teeth were gone and he frequently washed his food down with what was most likely alcohol.  I listened and ate until it was time to depart.  He hugged me and I wished him well.

In George Orwell's 1984 he discusses the class distinctions between the upper, middle, and lower classes.  His dystopic novel, published in 1949, offers insight into the human condition as well as the maxim that 'absolute power tends to corrupt'.  The novel explains that throughout human history there have been essentially three classes of individuals, those with power, those with some, and those with none.  (The inner party, the outer party, and the proles.)

When the ruling party fails to maintain their vigilance, becomes lazy, or allows the middle class to rise against them in revolution, the middle class seizes control and they themselves become the ruling party, all while the poor stay poor.  The inner party in Orwell's novel had figured out how to cement their control over the masses through the illusions of constant warfare, a barely sustaining economy (despite abundance), and fear.  This way the middle class could never amass enough wealth or strength to over throw the ruling party and would remain forever under manipulation.  If any challenges were made, drastic measures were taken to ensure the demagogue or agitators were punished, tortured, or even killed.  Freedom had ceased to exist.  History books were re-written to reflect the inner parties politics, to keep the masses ignorant and dependent.

"He who controls the past controls the future.  He who controls the present controls the past."

― George Orwell, 1984


With the political war between the Conservatives and Democrats in full swing, it really makes no difference to the poor.  The candidate most likely to garner the majority vote will be the one who can emotionally manipulate voters into action, but it is my opinion that the best candidate is the one who does not want the job for their own ego satisfaction.  The best candidate is the one who will use their power to enrich the lives of the poor, to free them from their dependence.

The same goes for Men and Women.  When there is no feminism or chauvinism, but Humanism.  When both parties treat one another with the respect that each deserves.  When there is fairness and open dialogue.  When there is reason, accountability, and compassion.  When we no longer have to campaign and simply BE the best person for the job.  Then we can make some real progress.

"Nothing can be more absurd than the practice that prevails in our country of men and women not following the same pursuits with all their strengths and with one mind, for thus, the state instead of being whole is reduced to half."

― Plato

Ever since I was a little boy, I remember my mother would make custard flan for my birthday or special occasions.  It made the day!

Since I've been on my own, I have tried to replicate the recipe that captured my taste buds so many years ago.  One can easily find many recipes online, but my mother used an ancient cook book from a drawer with boxes of handwritten recipes that she'd collected over the years.  Her cooking skills had evolved to the point where she'd rarely need to re-read the instructions, instead trusting her instincts, taste-buds, and memory to add a dash of "this or that".

I couldn't fully appreciate the skills and talent of people who can cook until I no longer had access to such delicious foods on a regular basis.  My younger brother is a trained chef and seeing him in action makes me appreciate the value of individuals like family members who share their love through their cooking.  The fondness of memories from special events are inextricably tied to the food in my head.  Looking back, I realized what took so little time to enjoy started many hours, months, or even years before everyone could have a slice of "heaven" on their plate.  My grandmother's recipes were passed down to her children and her memory lives on as I got to enjoy her famous Christmas fruit cake last January in India.  There are numerous family occasions where the highlight for me is sitting down with family members to cut, chop, mix, prepare, or grill foods together.  The end result being a tasty meal enjoyed in the presence of loving company which dwarfs the experience of buying something off a menu.

My Flan Recipe:

-Preheat oven to 350ºF
-Mix 3 eggs in a large mixing bowl with 12oz of condensed milk
-Add about 1 cup milk and half cup of sugar
-Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

In a separate small pot, melt half a cup of sugar without burning it too much.

In a Flan dish, coat the entire base with the melted caramelized sugar.

Once the dish is coated, pour the well mixed flan batter into the dish and cover with aluminum foil to bake in the oven for an hour.

Once cooked, chill and serve cold.