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Inner Peace

11/2/2016

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"I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet"


Today I got to break in my new "Cleto Reyes" sparring gloves in an actual 'round robin' sparring session.  New gloves were needed because I had smashed the snot out of my old "Ringside" leather gloves.  I was sad to see my classic ring gloves go, but it was getting unsafe to hit others with a cloud of pulverized padding exploding from inside each time I connected a punch with my opponent.  The new gloves smelled like babied leather and held up really well like they were custom made just for me.


After boxing, I decided to treat myself to a cheeseburger and curly fries from 'Dan's Hamburgers'.  It's a local fast food chain here in Austin that I believe is a step above Whataburger (a semi national Texas born fast food restaurant).   Being a smaller chain, Dan's Burgers are located in older neighborhoods in ancient buildings.  I stumbled into discovering Dan's after a friend helped me move from Dallas to Austin after which we searched for a good place to have lunch.  It was just a few miles down the road from my apartment.

I remember rewarding myself (every now and then) with a trip to Whataburger in the past, but started favoring Dan's somewhere along the way (I doubt Whataburger is jealous).  It became one of the reasons that I love living in Austin.  Whenever I had been away for a long time or knew that I would be soon going, I would often stop by the restaurants nearby that I'd come to love.  (Wingzup is another local favorite).

Today while having lunch, a poor elderly black man without hands had walked in wearing the shiniest red tuxedo shoes.  It was hard to tell if he was impoverished or simply possessed a unique sense of fashion.  He sat down at the booth across from me.  I saw how he used both of his arms to manipulate the straw into his cup and use the ends of his wrists and undeveloped nubs to squeeze the ketchup.  He deftly ate his food with ease.  He was older and possessed a deep sense of dignity as he carried himself with pride.  I finished my fries and set out without staring too much to head home, shower, reflect, and write...

"I wept because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet"

This phrase which has been credited to many wise authors through time was burning in my mind.  I laid in bed to recover from my aching neck and to reflect on this thought.  In boxing, hands are like feet, and gloves are like shoes.  I proudly sported my new gloves uttering the phrase "ain't nothing like new shoes" as fellow boxers and coaches welcomed the metaphor.

I think when I find myself getting down from the worries of the world, I have to remember to take stock of how blessed my life truly is.  I am so fortunate to love and be loved by so many.  I get to live a dream life!  Gratitude replaces the negative feelings and frees me from my state of mind.  The Lord works in mysterious ways and the people he sends my way are reminders of His presence and Love for Us ALL.


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Thanksgiving 2015

11/24/2015

 
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2015 Austin Golden Gloves (Licarione Photography)
Since moving to Austin nearly 2 years ago, I discovered a second home at the 'Fit Pit' boxing gym off Oltorf and Lamar.  One of the first things that I set out to do when I arrived in this city was to find a place to train.  After investigating all reasonable options I chose the Fit Pit.  After crossing some rail road tracks and driving down a street in the warehouse district of South Austin, I saw a stone monument with a pair of red boxing gloves etched on the facade telling me that I reached my destination.  I parked and was greeted by a set of 15 foot iron double doors, something one would expect to see on the set of the movie 'King Kong'.

As I walked into the gym I was surprised to note how clean the place appeared as most boxing gyms I had been to were filthy; this is not to say the pervading smell of sweat, testosterone, and blood weren't present, but rather obvious measures had been taken to restore some semblance of respect for basic hygiene.  Then I met Coach Art Cardenas, the owner of the establishment.  He warmly received me and offered a complimentary work out before allowing me to make my decision to train there regularly.  After working out a deal that fit my budget, I began my mission to familiarize myself with the gym and it's students.

Boxing gyms are like no other out there.  There is so much attitude from each fighter especially before one has had a chance to engage in sparring or combat.  Each fighter keeps their distance from newcomers (since new members tend to come and go) instead choosing to remain focused on their own training and self improvement.  Respect is earned in the ring.  Having boxed in several gyms over the years, I found it funny to find the same attitudes and behaviors here at my new home.

For me, boxing offers the opportunity to forget the stresses of daily living or a chance to help others forget theirs.  It provides a peace and serenity rarely discovered by those who fear it's inherent violence.  I started going to the gym everyday.  I became familiar with not only the residents, but also their training habits and patterns.  I took note of the serious 'fighters' and began to build a friendship with the 'regulars'.  After a while the gym started to feel like home, and it's inhabitants like family.  My work takes me away from town for days at a time and I find myself missing my gym and anxious to return to the city that hosts my passions.

When I was younger I wanted to compete and test myself.  It was important to beat my competition and direct my efforts at self improvement.  Now, while still operating on a competitive level, my pursuits have changed to maintaining my health and helping others achieve their own personal greatness.  I find myself stopping by the gym to 'hang out' and help where ever I can offer it.  I love spending time there and as I look forward to celebrating the feast of Thanksgiving with my loved ones, I will also remember and be grateful to the family I found at the Fit Pit.

The Boxer

9/9/2015

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“The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road; long before I dance under those lights.”
Sometimes people ask me, "How long have you been boxing?" to which I reply, "Since I was a boy."

My brothers and I used to split a shiny red pair of Everlast boxing gloves and fight each other as children.  We loved it!  It was half fun, half serious (which appealed to my character).

Later on as I grew older, I decided to pursue boxing competitively.  I wanted to assess my limits. 

Boxing taught me more about myself than any other sport.  I learned that I was 'strong', but not the kind of 'tough' one discovers in a regular gym (People moved when I hit them). 

Even though I could lift heavy weights and run a couple of miles, I discovered that I was out of shape for a fighter.  Possessing mass, both muscle and fat, comes with a price.  Most people do not have the energy to fuel a body to dance and fight for more than a round or two.  Some fighters look like bodybuilders but tire easily within a few rounds.  Some fighters resemble sumo wrestlers but can move and hit targets with precision and ease.  This lesson took some time to figure out, but basically each person has an optimal body mass that once achieved they are able to deliver maximum power and speed with prolonged endurance (within six weeks I lost and kept off about 40lbs).

Many boxers are labeled cocky or arrogant.  While this generalization may hold some truth, boxing demands full belief in one's ability to conquer and dominate lest they become the conquered.  This is where psychology enters into the equation.  Most (if not all) fights are won before it has even begun.  Fear creeps in and implants negative notions  These notions range between fear of appearing foolish to actually fearing the pain of getting hurt.  So instead of fighting to 'win' one fights to 'not lose'.  The fear of losing is what drives the fighter and ironically leads to loss.

Anyone who has spent some time boxing knows that physical pain isn't really that bad.  Aside from traumatic brain injury, a broken nose can actually do some good.  One learns that fear is worse than the sting of reality.  Once again, your mind works against you to protect you from consciously walking into danger (it's counter-intuitive to seek out physical combat, see "fight or flight instinct").

One must know that they are going to both receive and dole out punishment.  They must learn to control the part of their brain that is signalling them to take "flight".  Boxing forces one to deal with reality by living in the present moment.  Reality is hitting you in the face (quite literally), and you must stay calm, react, and make decisions under pressure.  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.  This is the most difficult part for any fighter to truly internalize and apply.  It's a beautiful metaphor for life.  Young fighters tend to rush in and overwhelm their opponents without thinking about the long term which can leave them with scars into their future.  Experienced fighters are better aware of their limits and can exercise caution if the stakes are not worth the risk.  Boxing is the art of hitting and not getting hit.

One of the reasons I chose boxing was to help me manage my anger.  In the beginning, I could often over power and intimidate my opponents into submission.  I noticed that when I fought smaller, more experienced fighters that my rage worked against me and would leave me exhausted, vulnerable, and susceptible to defeat.  Eventually I started to appreciate the skills involved and began focusing on controlling my aggression in favor of cunning and technique.  Boxing had given me the gift of self control and I prospered.  I had strength, energy, and the control to use them.

Fighting for me was no longer about defeating another, but rather conquering myself.  I was given a gift that allowed me to soar and be free.  Something I wish to share with the World.  Everyone has some kind of battle they are fighting, and the skills gained from boxing can directly transfer in helping these individuals overcome and 'Win'.  In other words, fighting for the sake of fighting only serves the ego; whereas, fighting for a cause serves to rally and encourage others to boldly challenge their opponents whether in or out of the ring. 

What makes a fighter heroic is their attitude/spirit towards winning despite the odds of harm.  Call it cocky, arrogant, or foolish, but not everyone can handle this pressure.

“Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”
― William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

I enjoy this sport for the many benefits it provides.  It has given me the best physical condition of my life.  It has given me superhuman confidence (It has also taught me humility).  It has offered me hope and the opportunity for redemption.  It continues to teach me about myself and others.  It drives me to seek improvement. 

Whether I chose boxing or Boxing chose me, I am eternally grateful!

Training


Mind. Body. Spirit.

In order to truly be "The Greatest" one must develop their skills in each of the three categories.

Mind:  This area is concerned with one's mind-set.  I once had a music teacher stop my lesson to practice an exercise in psychology after failing to perform a song.  She asked me to raise my arm out to the side and to try to resist while she applied downward pressure.  My arm grew tired quickly and slowly succumbed to the weight of a 90lb woman.  Then she asked me to think of something that I was great at doing and hold that thought.  Once again she told me to raise my arm and attempt to resist, but instead of buckling under the pressure I was able to resist with ease.  She explained that it was not a trick, but rather I needed my mind to be in the proper frame in order to set the tone for success in singing, dancing, or anything that requires focus.  The lesson... confidence is a mindset.  Do not get discouraged, learn, adjust, adapt, succeed.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford


Body:  This area is concerned with getting one's body to bend to the mind's will.  If one struggles with endurance, then work on exercises that build up this 'weakness' until it becomes a 'strength'.  For many fighters, building stamina is the most difficult and least developed skill.  There are many exercises to help with this such as jumping rope.  Start off with small goals (to prevent injury).  Then slowly increase the level of difficulty until that becomes 'normal'.  In the beginning, I struggled to skip rope for (5) two-minute rounds with a minute rest in between.  Gradually, I built up my endurance to last the entire fifteen minutes (the longest I've jumped was over an hour).  Fighters must learn to catch their breath while still moving.  This helps them to recover in between attacks (it also gives the appearance of unlimited endurance which discourages the opponent).  I also developed superior footwork in the ring.  I was able to move with greater ease and deliver split second attacks while evading danger.  Jumping rope also serves to strengthen the connective tissues and muscles that hold one's internal organs (viscera) in place which helps to protect against damage when attacked.

Other exercises include:  Jogging (for stamina and mental toughness), Wind Sprints (for speed and strength), Bag Work (for technique and power), Rope Climbing (for core and upper body strength), Swimming (for stretching, breathing, and endurance).  Each of these exercises possess their own secrets which they reveal to those who seek them out.  The end results speak for themselves and surprisingly take less than 30 minutes per day (unless you really enjoy yourself).

Spirit:  This area is concerned with the thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, and character of the individual.  It is probably the most important of the three and takes the longest to develop.  Spirituality in boxing seems like a contradiction; however, in spite of the violence and brutality there is freedom and escape.  It will be difficult to understand unless one has experienced fighting for themselves.  It takes great courage to step into the ring.  Fear begins to manifest.  It takes practice to tune it out.  The bell rings and the two fighters come together in the center of the square.  A second silent permission is given to engage in violence usually marked by the respectful gesture of touching gloves.  The opponents circle one another with defensive posture until attack is delivered.  The use of tactics and strategy begin to form while one's character is being tested.

Everyone uses different words to describe the situation, but I believe "spirit" is what allows a fighter to get back up after being knocked down.  Sometimes taking a beating feels a lot like your 'spirit' is getting crushed.  A fighter obviously doesn't wish to feel hurt and powerless and yet circumstances are causing this depression of spirits.  In fact, people experiencing this trauma are said to be experiencing 'a bout of depression' much like bouts in boxing.

With practice, a fighter can develop their inner game to pick themselves back up and come back after taking punishment in the ring (and win).  Inner game is more than attitude which can be mental, but rather it comes from something deep within the fighter.  Many fighters come from poverty with broken homes and despite being vicious in the ring are targets of predators in business or their personal lives (see Mike Tyson).  An attitude of dependance can develop to help the fighter cope with stress in or out of the ring such as drink, drugs, or toxic relationships.  Inner game is when the fighter has matured to the point of no longer being necessitous.  The mature fighter does not depend on anyone or anything to guide them, to provide happiness, or to help them cope with stress as they are self-sufficient from within.

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Dallas Nite Club

8/14/2015

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Every Thursday night is Salsa dancing at the "Dallas Nite Club" in Austin.
I discovered this club when I was invited to try Salsa dancing for the first time.  (In my younger days, I thought it was too girly and ironically avoided dancing with my girl friends whenever possible).

Since moving to Austin, I began to miss people of culture and found myself seeking venues where said "culture" was present.  At the Dallas Nite Club (DNC), I not only found an environment rich in culture, but also full of confidence.  I witnessed people of all ages and levels of fitness completely own the dance floor.  They projected a confidence that transcended the typical.

I saw women dressed in heels and short dresses move and dance with the precision of professional athletes.  Men moved with assertiveness and led their partners with sheer confidence which controlled the cadence of the dance.  Oh, the music was nice too.

Through years of boxing, I noticed that there is a subtle dance being conducted in the ring as well.  There is a lead and follow, a cadence or pace, and finally a grand finale.  Dancing Salsa is no different.  There are 'leads and follows', usually men and women respectively.  The music sets the rhythm and tells the dancers what style or pace to use (Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, Cha Cha, etc.).  One learns to listen to the cues and hear the rhythm in the beat.

Another thing that struck me as interesting was the dynamic between men and women at the DNC.  Salsa dancing makes it incredibly easy to approach and talk to women.  At the same time the interaction involves being polite, it provides an excuse to dance intimately with another person for a short while, and the allows the ability to interact with multiple partners throughout the evening.

If it sounds a lot like sex, that's because dancing IS a lot like sex.

There are aggressive leads, passive follows, and everything in between.  People are allowed to be themselves on the dance floor, in fact the whole dance goes a lot smoother when people allow themselves to be free.  It is an eloquent mixture of masculine and feminine energies flowing in tandem like the yin and yang of eastern culture.

My first impression was an exciting one.  I loved the idea of finding a new stream of confidence.  Having experienced new and fulfilling activities that would later become passions, I knew not to discount my inexperience but rather embrace the challenge to grow and master a new skill.  I found myself attending the $5 subsidized dance classes every Thursday and ended up staying later and later on throughout the nights.

I'm no longer considered a beginner, but I still have a long way to go.  I'm grateful for the experience to add Salsa dancing to my repertoire and become a more interesting Human Being.


“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”
― Rumi
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Cogito Ergo Sum

6/26/2015

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Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) age 12. (Getty Images)
I think therefore I AM. (René Descartes)

The Ego and Self Esteem are two concepts related to one another but differ like siblings.  Ego often precedes one's self esteem, but once knowledge is attained, then esteem is built.

The Ego is a concept often used, but rarely understood.  Sigmund Freud defined it as one of the 3 components to the human psyche.  It is concerned with balancing desire with practicality (between the id and superego).  It's been said that it is a measure of how a person thinks or feels about themselves at any given time including how they are perceived by others.

Self Esteem deals with the self respect derived from personal accomplishment and the corresponding knowledge or confidence in oneself.

When one has not attempted a feat, but feels that they are capable of such a task, it is their ego that tells them they can "do it".  When they struggle or fail, their character is tested and how they react to the reality of frustration helps build maturity.  Their ability to shrug off disappointment and persist in moving forward is the measure of that persons character.

It is also important to note that ego derives fulfillment from external sources such as fashion, wealth, societal status, and addiction to material; whereas self esteem is fulfilled from internal sources such as achieving self knowledge, personal accomplishment, and faith in one's honest ability (true confidence).

Ego tends to be ephemeral and temporary (like renting).  People who define themselves by these things find themselves lost when such ego devices (inevitably) encounter loss such as: wealth, relationships, business, sport or physical attributes (such as your body).

Self esteem seems to be enduring and much more lasting (like owning).  People who possess self esteem retain their value when material or superficial relationships are severed.

When given a choice between the two, I would much rather elect the option that offers the most mileage.   My happiness will ultimately be greater in the long run and independent of external stimulus.

I have heard it said, "Fake it till you make it" which I believe refers to the mercurial state of one's character.  Few people are born 'winners', it takes practice at building any skill; therefore, before one can be great at something, they first have to believe that they can achieve greatness.  Many times, in order to convince themselves, people must first be convincing to others.  Eventually the individual will forget, forgive, or forgo their past selves, and embrace their new persona.

A few years back, I decided to grow out my hair.  I had always known short hair and spent a great deal of time and money to fit my idea of style and fashion.  When I first started the growth phase, I had no expectations since it was completely new.  I noticed that people looked at me differently when I didn't conform to societal standards.  After a year, I stopped caring about styling my looks and just 'went with the flow'; women started to notice.  I learned many things from the process including the fact that confidence comes from within.  After a few years of possessing long hair, I decided to shave my locks completely off.  Almost drastically, I felt as if my powers of confidence had left me.  It was traumatic adjusting to the new reflection in the mirror. After a couple days, I realized that I was the same Man, just without the extravagant mane of hair.  My confidence returned, and once again... Women noticed.  It's a cool experiment to try out (if you can afford it).  This tests as well as develops character and goes with the philosophy of knowing thyself.

Greatness is a mindset that begins with the belief, "I think therefore I am."

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