Australian comedian Jim Jeffries does a stand up piece about the secret of happiness, which he claims "it's being beautiful" (it's worth finding on Netflix). He argues that on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being the most beautiful, that 95% of people fall on a bell distribution of being a 4, 5, or a 6. It's absurdly hilarious, but it gets people to think about how we treat others and how others may also treat ourselves. That leaves 5% of the population as either a 1 - 3 or the blessed 7 - 10.

Psychology teaches that humans attribute a "halo effect" to attractive people which means people tend to think of them as more honest, kinder, and even go so far as to treat them special. This constant 'special treatment' can lead to people living in a beauty bubble where they cannot perceive being treated any other way (30 Rock does a hilarious show on this topic that's also worth checking out on Netflix). Those who live blissfully unaware of how the world works in actuality can set themselves up for ridicule, jealousy, and betrayal.

To make matters more complicated, this beauty scale works differently for men than it does for women. The women's cosmetics industry is roughly a 35% global market cap and over a third of every dollar spent goes towards beauty products (according to 2014 studies). That means about $121 billion dollars each year is spent on skin care to appear more attractive. Looking more attractive garners better opportunities for jobs or mate selection.

With medical advancements, men are spending on hair loss recovery, testosterone replacement therapy for youth and vigor, as well as undergoing cosmetic surgical procedures to improve self esteem.

Other things that raise men's attraction level are financial or political success. By raising their status many women willingly offer themselves to these men. This has been the tale of the ages and is as old as "gold digging" and prostitution itself (see Melania and Donald Trump).

Things start to get interesting when children are involved, as one of the outcomes of such an arrangement are offspring. The mother is assured provisioning by marrying up, and men are assured their lineage with more attractive DNA (women date up, men date down). Of course marital infidelity (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) is one of the biggest destroyers of relationships as both men and women lose respect and attraction for their mates.

By providing sex and children, which biology drives both genders, women control this aspect of the relationship; however, men typically offer protection and provisioning in the exchange. Once the marriage or relationship discontinues, each party theoretically loses access to the gifts from their partner; however, state involvement has placed restrictions on the provider in that their responsibility must continue even after the marriage dissolves. This way, women do not have to be as mature or selective in mate selection because a safety net enforced by the state is available to them; however, these women are finding that their former beauty levels are no longer where they used to be and now have a much harsher social environment from which to prospect new mates.

There is social stigma from divorces, multiple divorces, and single mothers and fathers. It is less harsh for men in this respect especially if he retains the ability to generate more provisioning (many prospective women don't care). Women's social status takes a nose dive as equally attractive or higher men no longer view them as viable mates (who wants to come second or last after the children). There are men (with fewer options) that will still offer their commitment; however, most of the men are not attractive, which can lead to dead bedrooms or infidelity.

Observing from the outside, I find it most ironic that attractive young women often live in their beauty bubble and treat men with the respect of a spoiled brat using dates as cash machines or for food plans. Some even marry and continue this behavior because they assume the world will continue to treat them as they have always been treated; however, the rude awakening of aging or divorce often leaves them shell shocked and unable to adapt to this new world. Men who acquire assets and remain more or less attractive become even more desirable to the pool of prospective uncommitted women. The sad part is that many of these men have observed the farce that state marriage has become and avoid commitment themselves. Older women that did not acquire commitment or are now looking for it, offer more baggage in terms of emotional scarring, reduced or lack fertility, and the gift of their youth; however, they tend to be much more humble and treat men much better (at least until they acquire legal commitment).

I don't mean to be harsh or come off judgmental, but this is the truth! It's a sad state of affairs, but there is hope...

This past weekend, I got to attend a funeral. We celebrated the life of my cousin Manuel's wife, Sonya. She battled cancer for 5 years, leaving behind a devoted husband and two beautiful little girls. Fortunately, they were comforted by the presence of friends, family, and members of their faith community. Over the years, I witnessed the devotion each spouse had for one another which gave me hope. They genuinely loved one another and were blessed with two of the most beautiful, sweet children. I'm sure there were times when patience was tested, and self interest was put behind in order to accommodate one another. She respected Manny and it was obvious the feeling was mutual. I learned much from observing the pair. Their girls were the farthest thing from spoiled brats who are growing into lovely young women. I write this because it is important to know marriage can be a blessed sacrament without spite or resentment. Faith was the center of their family union. Sonya converted to Catholicism and grew strong in her faith more than most who are born into the religion. She put God, The Father, at the top of her marriage, then her Husband, and of course the children. Manny was the same.

The Sacrament of Marriage is the spiritual union of two people swearing before God to Love, Honor, and Obey their commitment 'till death do them part'. It's separate from the state, and operates in the spiritual realm. People who are members of their faith on paper or not affiliated at all do not enter holy sacraments with the same respect. The good news is once we learn to use our spiritual eyes instead of seeing things from the perspective of the state, we can begin to rely on God's guidance in our lives. If our heart's desire is to find a companion as Our Heavenly Father created Eve for Adam, then He will answer our prayers. It may not be in the manner in which you have imagined, but it will be better than anything conceivable.

This life is full of sorrow and disappointment, however, Do Not Lose Hope! He knows best for us and it was promised that death would be conquered through Christ. In fact, Jesus came through 10 times out of 10, fulfilling every promise He made. The strangest phenomenon that I've encountered with regard to faith is integrity. Meaning, when we encounter difficulty or obscurity do we still maintain our faithfulness? If one could know beyond a shadow of doubt the existence of Heaven, then faith could not exist just as love cannot without free will. Faith is trusting in God, our commitment mind, body, and soul.

"So do not start worrying: 'Where will my food come from? or my clothes? (These are the things the pagans/Romans are always concerned about.) Your Father in heaven knows that you need all these things. Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these things. So do not worry about tomorrow, it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings."

― Matthew 31:34


PS: I stayed on an extra mattress they had set up for me in their new home in the living room with Sonya's picture smiling down from the mantle. Manny and I watched Netflix until I fell asleep as usual. Around 3 in the morning I heard the vibration of a cell phone thinking one of my friends was trying to reach me; however, when I got up to investigate it turned out to be coming from a different source. I walked around the house until I found Sonya's old iPhone and low and behold she and Manny were smiling together in an embrace on the background as music played for her 3am medication reminder. It was like she was saying 'hi' and sent me to bed with a smile.

​

A few months ago I was starting to look for a new car. I've driven my faithful 4runner for 11 years and even though I'm about 50k miles shy of my ownership goal, I didn't want to be unprepared in the event that it decides to quit on me. To add to my search motivation, I began to notice a judder while accelerating at highway speeds. After a quick investigation online, the repair forums pointed to a worn out "universal joint". The U-joint, as it is called, is the mechanism with which the transmission connects the drive shaft to the rear wheels (via the differential). From what I read, they tend to last about 100k miles. The factory joints in my 4runner started to fail at around 190k miles. The repair cost that I was quoted to replace the u-joints ranged from $300-$500; however, being mechanically inclined I decided to do the job myself.

After picking up the replacement u-joints ($30) and some jack stands ($25), I researched the process before attempting the precarious procedure.  I learned that most dealerships replace the actual driveshaft which comes with new u-joints rather than simply replacing the difficult to remove joints which is why the cost can fluctuate much higher.  I discovered that in order to remove the damaged joints, one would have to arduously sledge hammer the worn joints out of the driveshaft sockets.  Instead of attempting this part of the procedure I found a nearby driveshaft repair shop just down the road from my apartment that uses a 20-ton hydraulic press to easily pop out the worn joints as long as the customer brings in the driveshaft themselves.

That morning, I woke up to unusually warm beautiful Autumn weather, drove to the driveshaft shop, and set to work on my truck in their parking lot.  I used my vehicle jack to raise my rear axle, under which I placed the jack stands.  Then after marking the driveshaft so as to not lose the factory bolt configuration, I set to work by removing the nuts that hold the heavy shaft in place.  I used two ratcheting wrenches and squeezed them together like a pair of heavy duty scissors until the bolts broke loose.  I repeated this procedure on all the rear bolts before sliding the driveshaft out from the transmission.  The process took less than an hour, after which I walked into the shop with my parts in hand to have the old joints punched out and replaced with the new.  Each u-joint replacement costed $25 ($50 total) and took less than an hour to do.  I walked up the street to enjoy a hamburger at my infrequent favorite "Dan's Burgers" and when I had finished the shop was done too.  They even helped me to replace the re-jointed driveshaft since my car was shamelessly resting on jack stands in their parking lot.  They joked that customers don't usually do that and since it was a slow day they offered their help.  Most of their customers are mechanic shops that remove the driveshaft as I did and bring it in to them to press out since few mechanic's own a heavy duty hydraulic press.

I could immediately tell new life was breathed into my old truck as I accelerated on the highway to test the new joints.  The savings of doing the work myself allowed me to perform a few more long over due procedures which included replacing my rear shocks ($40) and purchasing a set of brand new Michelin tires.

My truck performs like new again, and since I had gotten accustomed to the mushy factory shocks which should have been replaced every 60k miles, my truck is handling better than ever.  I was shocked by how much of a difference these small maintenance items make.  I even sprang for a new set of windshield wipers.  Now, I look forward to taking my old truck out even in the rain.  Just recently I was told that "it drives like a Mercedes", which I took to mean that it runs smoothly.  When driving on the highway, I try to listen for vibrations but I hear nothing and smile as my truck coasts an effortless 90 mph running smooth as butter melting on hot toast.

Rev 2

Nearly 3500 yrs ago, an edict was issued from upon high that all male infants were to be killed.  The command was given by Pharaoh in fear of retaliation from the children of his Israelite slaves.  They threw thousands of children into the Nile river to drown or be eaten by crocodiles.  Still, a millennia later, similar edicts were issued from State officials to murder newborns and infant sons due to a prophetic fear of the birth of a King that would supplant the current regime.  It is rumored that in the middle ages, State officials would decree "prima nocta", which granted nobles sexual rites to the wives of newly weds on their wedding night in an attempt to breed out the undesired genes of local male populations.  And now, nearly another millennia later, we are facing a similar threat to marriage, children, and families as State officials continue to meddle in family affairs.

Something I've often wondered about growing up in this country and having read about from writers like Charles Dickens is where America keeps its orphaned children.  I've witnessed orphanages in India and Africa, but never here in my home country.  As it turns out, children whose parents have left them physically or spiritually abandoned are either adopted by their god parents, next of kin, or placed into foster care.  My brother once showed up to work only to find an abandoned baby on the door step.  We learned that one can take the child to any fire-station here in the US for safe handling.

Foster care is basically an arrangement with the State and a foster family who agrees to look after the child until permanent adoption arrangements can be made.  The foster family usually receives a small compensation from the state in order to offset the costs of caring for each child.  Children placed in such a situation often share their foster parents with other (foster) children or even some of their own siblings.  Some experience physical, psychological, or sexual abuse in these families.  It's not close to an ideal situation, but it seems to be the evolution of the archaic orphanage concept.

The State, bloated with wealthy politicians that cater to their financiers and voters, seeks to minimize costs allocated to care for foster children.  In other words, the State does not really support 'parent-less children' which often bodes unwell for the children in its care.  The sad truth is that young people need parental role models in order to develop and grow into healthy adults.  Children from single parent households seek the missing parent's energy from outside influences which can come from the streets.  Children learn to seek the attention they need from good or bad behavior, because either one provides them with the crucial guidance they crave.  Without proper guidance and care, these children often grow up into lives of prostitution and crime.  The problem is systemic to which the only solution is awareness and maturity.

In evolutionary biological terms, a husband who cares for children that are not his, but belonging to his wife is evolution's patsy.  In this culture, a man can be legally liable for supporting these children or face the devastating consequences of legal prosecution.  Consequences which include, providing financial support for each child up until age 18, alimony, or the loss of assets including his home or retirement plan.  If he chooses not to comply: he can be thrown into jail, his credit demolished, or his employment opportunities may evaporate with a background check.

In many states, it is illegal to seek a paternity test and irrelevant to the courts decision to hold the man financially liable.  The State uses its power to remove itself from having to care for 'parent-less children' and instead places this burden onto individuals (mostly men) whose lives can be destroyed (including the poor children involved).  Western women know this and have learned to exercise this power which currently rests in their favor.  A man who marries and for whatever reason seeks divorce risks losing half his past and up to half of his future earnings.  A woman who marries and seeks divorce even for her own marital dalliances can receive access to her husband's past assets as well as future earnings.  The reason for marital separation is irrelevant, if children are involved, the State will seek to place the financial burden on the provider, which is typically the man.

In evolutionary terms, women are programmed to seek both the highest quality mate (attractive genes) as well as the highest status mate (wealth, power, resources).  Men are programmed to seek and spread their genetics to attractive (fertile) mates regardless of her status.  This means that since women bear children they must be careful with their decision in granting sexual access to men of whom they find attractive, but may or may not stick around to help raise their children especially during vulnerable times like pregnancy.  In ancient times, when a woman chose poorly and was left pregnant without a mate, then often that child would not survive especially if the mother was left to provide for herself during pregnancy.  Society and religion pushed the idea of saving oneself for marriage before engaging in sexual activity to prevent this situation.

In modern times, we have developed birth control options that allow people to engage in sexual congress seemingly without consequences; however, younger people are now delaying marriage in preference to 'playing the field' which is resulting in fewer couplings and less children being born.  In light of the corrupt legal system men are opting out of marriage altogether to prevent a life of financial loss and marital tragedy.  While women, who seemingly benefited from the sexual revolution, are left husband-less and ageing without commitment.  Men with options are choosing to carry on with low commitment relationships as women are the gatekeepers of sex and men the keepers of commitment.  Each party values what the other controls.  In economic terms, the market is flooded with meaningless sex, and so the demand for commitment has skyrocketed.  In other words, many men are refusing to commit to women who have squandered their fertility either through wasting time or poor mate choices and may or may not bring children into their future relationship.  There is little to no incentive for men to get married to women who have accumulated "baggage" and offer less in terms of providing a family.

The good news is that there is a solution!  Nature and the earth will continue to exist long after mankind has left this world, so one thing that we can learn from is Mother Nature.  As humans evolved from tribes into cities, we moved away from our communities which served as extended family in case loved ones were lost.  Nature is a cruel mistress and does not reward weakness; therefore, if society is to progress then strength must be the focus.  Strength of family, strength of faith, and lastly the strength to seek freedom from dependence on a corrupt system that seeks to pass the burden of responsibility onto others and ultimately force the children (of which it claims to serve) to foot the bill as they are the true victims of parents who brought them into the world.

Upon maturity, parents can talk to their children openly about marriage, sex, and commitment.  This can allow a dialogue which young people can use to help them navigate the marriage marketplace instead of finding things out the hard way.  This way both sons and daughters can have more information to help them make informed decisions with regard to the aforementioned topics instead of following society's skewed trajectory.

Parents can inspire faithfulness in their children by leading by example.  Faith begins in the home with deference to God or at the very least to one's spouse.  By showing humility and devotion to God or to one's spouse then children will model their own relationships after their example.  Instead of fending for themselves when the time comes to make adult decisions about sexuality, the child will have a sense of spiritual guidance in place to help them make informed decisions.

In the 1700's when men were allowed by the State courts to beat their wives with a small stick and treat them like property under threat of becoming a poor divorcee, power rested with men to exercise kindness, mercy, and compassion; however, the pendulum has shifted with women in control to punitively punish men through divorce, where through state courts men are at the mercy of women's kindness, mercy, and compassion (People are literally losing their jobs at the slightest hint of sexual misconduct).

Nobody enjoys slavery!

Lastly, for those who find themselves outside of society's marriage and child equation, do not worry.  Our ancestors came from different times and survived countless political regimes for us to be here today.  The reason our generation is struggling with these issues is because previous generations did the best they could to shape a better world for their children.  With advances in science, politics, and technology humans of both genders have abused these privileges which has led us to our current situation.

"For behold, the days are coming when they will say, 'Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed."
― Luke 23:29, The Infant King

When both men and women learn not to abuse their power and hold their elected officials responsible instead of allowing a systemic wheel of corruption to continue operating in the same manner where the only parties that benefit from litigation is the corrupt legal system that shamelessly steals food from the children's table, then maybe we can evolve to be fit spouses and/or parents instead of perpetual victims.  Then the true victims of divorce, infanticide, and abuse will have justice and a chance at life.