Nearly 3500 yrs ago, an edict was issued from upon high that all male infants were to be killed. The command was given by Pharaoh in fear of retaliation from the children of his Israelite slaves. They threw thousands of children into the Nile river to drown or be eaten by crocodiles. Still, a millennia later, similar edicts were issued from State officials to murder newborns and infant sons due to a prophetic fear of the birth of a King that would supplant the current regime. It is rumored that in the middle ages, State officials would decree "prima nocta", which granted nobles sexual rites to the wives of newly weds on their wedding night in an attempt to breed out the undesired genes of local male populations. And now, nearly another millennia later, we are facing a similar threat to marriage, children, and families as State officials continue to meddle in family affairs.
Something I've often wondered about growing up in this country and having read about from writers like Charles Dickens is where America keeps its orphaned children. I've witnessed orphanages in India and Africa, but never here in my home country. As it turns out, children whose parents have left them physically or spiritually abandoned are either adopted by their god parents, next of kin, or placed into foster care. My brother once showed up to work only to find an abandoned baby on the door step. We learned that one can take the child to any fire-station here in the US for safe handling.
Foster care is basically an arrangement with the State and a foster family who agrees to look after the child until permanent adoption arrangements can be made. The foster family usually receives a small compensation from the state in order to offset the costs of caring for each child. Children placed in such a situation often share their foster parents with other (foster) children or even some of their own siblings. Some experience physical, psychological, or sexual abuse in these families. It's not close to an ideal situation, but it seems to be the evolution of the archaic orphanage concept.
The State, bloated with wealthy politicians that cater to their financiers and voters, seeks to minimize costs allocated to care for foster children. In other words, the State does not really support 'parent-less children' which often bodes unwell for the children in its care. The sad truth is that young people need parental role models in order to develop and grow into healthy adults. Children from single parent households seek the missing parent's energy from outside influences which can come from the streets. Children learn to seek the attention they need from good or bad behavior, because either one provides them with the crucial guidance they crave. Without proper guidance and care, these children often grow up into lives of prostitution and crime. The problem is systemic to which the only solution is awareness and maturity.
In evolutionary biological terms, a husband who cares for children that are not his, but belonging to his wife is evolution's patsy. In this culture, a man can be legally liable for supporting these children or face the devastating consequences of legal prosecution. Consequences which include, providing financial support for each child up until age 18, alimony, or the loss of assets including his home or retirement plan. If he chooses not to comply: he can be thrown into jail, his credit demolished, or his employment opportunities may evaporate with a background check.
In many states, it is illegal to seek a paternity test and irrelevant to the courts decision to hold the man financially liable. The State uses its power to remove itself from having to care for 'parent-less children' and instead places this burden onto individuals (mostly men) whose lives can be destroyed (including the poor children involved). Western women know this and have learned to exercise this power which currently rests in their favor. A man who marries and for whatever reason seeks divorce risks losing half his past and up to half of his future earnings. A woman who marries and seeks divorce even for her own marital dalliances can receive access to her husband's past assets as well as future earnings. The reason for marital separation is irrelevant, if children are involved, the State will seek to place the financial burden on the provider, which is typically the man.
In evolutionary terms, women are programmed to seek both the highest quality mate (attractive genes) as well as the highest status mate (wealth, power, resources). Men are programmed to seek and spread their genetics to attractive (fertile) mates regardless of her status. This means that since women bear children they must be careful with their decision in granting sexual access to men of whom they find attractive, but may or may not stick around to help raise their children especially during vulnerable times like pregnancy. In ancient times, when a woman chose poorly and was left pregnant without a mate, then often that child would not survive especially if the mother was left to provide for herself during pregnancy. Society and religion pushed the idea of saving oneself for marriage before engaging in sexual activity to prevent this situation.
In modern times, we have developed birth control options that allow people to engage in sexual congress seemingly without consequences; however, younger people are now delaying marriage in preference to 'playing the field' which is resulting in fewer couplings and less children being born. In light of the corrupt legal system men are opting out of marriage altogether to prevent a life of financial loss and marital tragedy. While women, who seemingly benefited from the sexual revolution, are left husband-less and ageing without commitment. Men with options are choosing to carry on with low commitment relationships as women are the gatekeepers of sex and men the keepers of commitment. Each party values what the other controls. In economic terms, the market is flooded with meaningless sex, and so the demand for commitment has skyrocketed. In other words, many men are refusing to commit to women who have squandered their fertility either through wasting time or poor mate choices and may or may not bring children into their future relationship. There is little to no incentive for men to get married to women who have accumulated "baggage" and offer less in terms of providing a family.
The good news is that there is a solution! Nature and the earth will continue to exist long after mankind has left this world, so one thing that we can learn from is Mother Nature. As humans evolved from tribes into cities, we moved away from our communities which served as extended family in case loved ones were lost. Nature is a cruel mistress and does not reward weakness; therefore, if society is to progress then strength must be the focus. Strength of family, strength of faith, and lastly the strength to seek freedom from dependence on a corrupt system that seeks to pass the burden of responsibility onto others and ultimately force the children (of which it claims to serve) to foot the bill as they are the true victims of parents who brought them into the world.
Upon maturity, parents can talk to their children openly about marriage, sex, and commitment. This can allow a dialogue which young people can use to help them navigate the marriage marketplace instead of finding things out the hard way. This way both sons and daughters can have more information to help them make informed decisions with regard to the aforementioned topics instead of following society's skewed trajectory.
Parents can inspire faithfulness in their children by leading by example. Faith begins in the home with deference to God or at the very least to one's spouse. By showing humility and devotion to God or to one's spouse then children will model their own relationships after their example. Instead of fending for themselves when the time comes to make adult decisions about sexuality, the child will have a sense of spiritual guidance in place to help them make informed decisions.
In the 1700's when men were allowed by the State courts to beat their wives with a small stick and treat them like property under threat of becoming a poor divorcee, power rested with men to exercise kindness, mercy, and compassion; however, the pendulum has shifted with women in control to punitively punish men through divorce, where through state courts men are at the mercy of women's kindness, mercy, and compassion (People are literally losing their jobs at the slightest hint of sexual misconduct).
Nobody enjoys slavery!
Lastly, for those who find themselves outside of society's marriage and child equation, do not worry. Our ancestors came from different times and survived countless political regimes for us to be here today. The reason our generation is struggling with these issues is because previous generations did the best they could to shape a better world for their children. With advances in science, politics, and technology humans of both genders have abused these privileges which has led us to our current situation.
"For behold, the days are coming when they will say, 'Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed."
― Luke 23:29, The Infant King
When both men and women learn not to abuse their power and hold their elected officials responsible instead of allowing a systemic wheel of corruption to continue operating in the same manner where the only parties that benefit from litigation is the corrupt legal system that shamelessly steals food from the children's table, then maybe we can evolve to be fit spouses and/or parents instead of perpetual victims. Then the true victims of divorce, infanticide, and abuse will have justice and a chance at life.