Past, Present, Future.

Town Lake

“Yes Siddhartha,' he said. 'Is this what you mean: that the river is in all places at once, at its source and where it flows into the sea, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the rapids, in the ocean, in the mountains, everywhere at once, so for the river there is only the present moment and not the shadow of the future?'

'It is,' Siddhartha said, 'And once I learned this I considered my life, and it too was a river, and the boy Siddhartha was separated from the man Siddhartha and the graybeard Siddhartha only by shadows, not by real things. ... Nothing was, nothing will be; everything is, everything has being and presence.”
― Hermann Hesse

It has been suggested by astrophysicists that spots exist within our universe that are said to be "nexus points", or points of intersection between time and space where the past, present, and future coincide.

An issue that I have been wrestling with for quite some time is the state of affairs between Men and Women.  When it comes to the business of politics between the sexes there seems to be a divide especially in sexual mating strategy, namely the "cuckold".  This term derives its meaning from the cuckoo bird which is said to lay its eggs in the nest of another bird, while abandoning it to be raised by an unsuspecting parent.  Often upon hatching, the cuckoo offspring (which bears little to no resemblance of the host parents) will push the other 'real' eggs out of the nest thereby securing resources only for themselves.  The host bird(s) will feed and 'raise' the cuckoo offspring as their own until they too are forced out of their own nest or die.

The concept of raising a child that does not belong to one or both parents is controversial.  A child born and placed for adoption is often the answer to a prayer from couples who are unable to conceive; whereas, a child borne from a mother's infidelity is another matter altogether.  Sexual mating strategy has evolved around the instance of human "cuckoo birds".  With the obvious parent being the mother, the question of paternity rests with the father.  This might explain the irrational fear of race-mixing as the offspring from this union will bear obvious traits from both parents thereby reducing the chances of questionable paternity.

Men are predisposed to fears of sexual infidelity which may be corroborated with experiential evidence.  Unfaithful wives and cheating men are the brokers of mistrust.  No man wishes to unwittingly invest his time, energy, and resources in raising a child only to discover that it is not his offspring with a soul-crushing betrayal of trust.

The psychology employed by pick-up artists tap into the receptive female psyche which surprisingly reacts to their "gaming" tactics like hypnosis.  These tactics include exploiting the female propensity for emotional responses to male behavior which can be confused for high mate potential.  Often times these women will sleep with such men without fully understanding the consequences.  The consequences being a repeating cycle of use, abuse, shame, and sometimes offspring.  Women bond through sex, which releases the hormone, Oxytocin (especially after orgasm).  This is the same hormone released when women breastfeed their children which helps to bond mother to child (more on biochemistry).  With repeated sexual experiences with multiple partners, women are susceptible to losing their ability to pair bond as their hormones grow accustomed to nebulous associations.  This is why societies evolved to 'slut shame' women of 'loose moral' character; however, this condition has been around since the dawn of our species.  In biblical terms, since Eve was first tempted by the snake in the Garden of Eden.

One of the least discussed and most famous "reverse-cuckolds" in fact comes from the bible in the form of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary.  Mary was a young girl betrothed to Joseph, an older man and a simple carpenter.  She was visited by an angel and was told that she "had found favor with The Lord" and would carry the Son of God.  She humbly submitted "as the handmaiden of the Lord" and returned to her future husband with the news.  Joseph reacted with anger and decided to "quietly divorce" Mary, when he too was confronted by an angel who explained that Mary conceived without sin (or temptation) and that her child would be the son of God.  And so the story goes that Joseph took care of Mary during her pregnancy and up until the child, Jesus, was able to fend for himself.  It was not clear in the scripture when St Joseph died, but it was clear that he cared for his adopted son as illustrated in the story where Jesus was lost in the Temple and his parents found him discussing sacred writ with rabbis and priestly scholars as a child.  St Joseph, (aptly named a saint) was a simple man from the working class who displayed an enormous amount of grace in being strong enough to have the character to do the right thing even in the face of 'soul-crushing' circumstances.

We may be the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, but We are ALL children of God.  Our ancestors have failed us.  Infidelity has most likely crossed our genetic past.  It currently haunts our present, but it doesn't have to determine our future...

The good news is that there is hope!  The psychology of human behavior lies in our ability to map new neural pathways.  In other words, we are capable of self hypnosis so much so that we can regain control of our hormones and even map new associations so that we can change old habits and form healthy new ones.  This begins first with a sincere desire to make a change in our lives.  Next, we must take our desire from thought to word by spreading the seeds of change in the form of meaningful words that speak to the individual.  Then push further from word into deeds that 'carve' behavioral associations into the mind.  With time and effort all things can submit like water cutting through rock to form a river.  With enough practice, one's actions can sustain into habits that eventually turn into character.

When one is faced with a 'nexus' point in their lives where they must choose a path that can determine the course of the future (as St Joseph had to decide) their character has been developed to assist them with their decision.  The character of their past determines how they will react in the present, which alters the course of the future.


"Nexus points are places where destiny and opportunity collide or from a Christian perspective where God’s call and man’s courage and will intersect. They are strategic moments that speak to core of history and purpose, of decisions and the trying of men’s souls. They are opportunities to demonstrate in the moment of testing that your heart is true, that out of the fire comes precious treasure and not garbage to be swept aside." (1 Cor. 3:11-13)

― The Burning Bush