Many times I find myself stuck in traffic behind a bad driver, especially when I'm running late. These are the drivers that go slow in the passing lane causing a dangerous atmosphere with big trucks on the highway cavalcade. They drive blissfully unaware of their affect on others, too fast or too slow. They swerve in and out of lanes unpredictably. They forget to use their turn indicators or leave them blinking which creates even more confusion. These individuals possess the uncanny ability to awaken the dormant anger beast within, also known as "road rage". This phenomenon has driven me to question the qualities that determine "good" and "bad" drivers. It's not as simple as generalizing people into categories based on gender, race, or age. It's also taught me to look closer at myself and help me deal with my anger.
I used to believe that some people were inherently gifted with the abilities and skills that I might never attain, which left me feeling powerless to change my fate. I was young and possessed a mindset that limited my behavior. Later on as I matured, I learned that my attitude was in need of serious adjustment if I was going to become the man I wanted to be...
With regard to driving, I most likely inherited my father's temper. I respect my father, but I used to be afraid of the rage that he was quick to take out on the careless drivers who may have cut him off in traffic or accidentally swerved into his lane. He would angrily exact his revenge on his transgressor by returning their offensive driving seven fold, until they were scared enough to hang back or turn off the road. Then strangely, he would return back to calm as if nothing had ever happened. Once, while on our way to Sunday mass, he almost ran over a classmate of mine as she carelessly rode her bicycle in the middle of the road. In her panic, she crashed and started to cry. My dad got out, made sure she was okay, and helped her back up. It's pretty funny to remember now (mostly because nobody was seriously harmed).
He would often drive fast using both feet on the pedals, one on the accelerator and the other on the brake. He was used to operating a manual transmission, which requires both legs. He was better than most drivers I knew and could get us to school on time despite the fact that my brother and I were late getting ready to leave the house. He seemed to have a sixth sense that guided him from lane to lane when traffic presented obstacles, "like picking stocks in the market" he would compare. He was emboldened each time he succeeded in beating the clock and defeating traffic. He was, is, and most likely will always be a 'warrior', a competitor who thrives in battle against opponents that would terrify the common person (it's probably why my mom married him).
I remember feeling bad for the female drivers who 'accidentally' offended my father when I saw their legitimate fear from his didactic driving lesson. I would think of somebody intimidating my mother on the road and feel upset.
His temper was legend behind the wheel, at job sites, and in the house. He dealt epic pastings to me and my brothers (never to my mother) whenever we fought or messed up the peace in the home. It's important to mention that he was and still is an affectionate human being. He struggled to manage his anger up until he became a grandfather. I suspect that he still struggles with it, but due to his new role as a person who his grandchildren look up to and adore he has learned to bridle his temper. Both temper and ego are similar in that they can work against you if left unchecked. Now, my father remains calm as a kitten in spite of the chaos these sweet children prodigiously generate. It took years before he finally got a handle on his rage, an accomplishment for which I am very proud.
People are funny. We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds, yet one thing we all share in common is our self-interest. We forget about others and get distracted in our own world; we cause mostly unintended transgressions against our brothers and sisters on the road. Cell phones, daydreams, food or whatever takes our focus off the task at hand and often leads to accidents. In participating in potentially dangerous activities, it becomes paramount to safety of self and others by maintaining focus and self control. Alcohol, drugs, and temperament can impair one's ability to maintain focus. Every single one of us has had moments where we surrendered control of ourselves to such vices. We're only human, but with practice we can work on regaining our power to not be victims to these temptations.
When 'triggers' that elicit behaviors such as rage present themselves, understand that the power to react is within one's control. You can choose to laugh, cry, or succumb to your vice. My personal favorite strategy is to laugh off the offense, sometimes choosing to sing a ridiculous song. When I see the instigator at a signal light I can often make them laugh from my car while smiling and singing the song inspired by their outrageous driving behavior.
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
― Unknown
We are more powerful than we think. Our thoughts can determine our attitudes, which can affect our performance. Be good to yourself, speak kindly, and act with compassion so that you might have the ability to conserve your power. This way you retain control under situations of stress that require your full attention. Negative thoughts, words, and actions like anger, rob us of our strength to be brave especially when we can lead by example. They limit our ability to act. Our strength can inspire others to dispel negative energy and reinforce positive behaviors. It's doubtful to me now to think some people are born better suited to tasks such as driving, sports, or anything competitive. I have learned that self-limiting thoughts, words, and beliefs can lead to limited performance; whereas, practice in self control can lead to the limitless attitude of Champions (like my Dad).
I used to believe that some people were inherently gifted with the abilities and skills that I might never attain, which left me feeling powerless to change my fate. I was young and possessed a mindset that limited my behavior. Later on as I matured, I learned that my attitude was in need of serious adjustment if I was going to become the man I wanted to be...
With regard to driving, I most likely inherited my father's temper. I respect my father, but I used to be afraid of the rage that he was quick to take out on the careless drivers who may have cut him off in traffic or accidentally swerved into his lane. He would angrily exact his revenge on his transgressor by returning their offensive driving seven fold, until they were scared enough to hang back or turn off the road. Then strangely, he would return back to calm as if nothing had ever happened. Once, while on our way to Sunday mass, he almost ran over a classmate of mine as she carelessly rode her bicycle in the middle of the road. In her panic, she crashed and started to cry. My dad got out, made sure she was okay, and helped her back up. It's pretty funny to remember now (mostly because nobody was seriously harmed).
He would often drive fast using both feet on the pedals, one on the accelerator and the other on the brake. He was used to operating a manual transmission, which requires both legs. He was better than most drivers I knew and could get us to school on time despite the fact that my brother and I were late getting ready to leave the house. He seemed to have a sixth sense that guided him from lane to lane when traffic presented obstacles, "like picking stocks in the market" he would compare. He was emboldened each time he succeeded in beating the clock and defeating traffic. He was, is, and most likely will always be a 'warrior', a competitor who thrives in battle against opponents that would terrify the common person (it's probably why my mom married him).
I remember feeling bad for the female drivers who 'accidentally' offended my father when I saw their legitimate fear from his didactic driving lesson. I would think of somebody intimidating my mother on the road and feel upset.
His temper was legend behind the wheel, at job sites, and in the house. He dealt epic pastings to me and my brothers (never to my mother) whenever we fought or messed up the peace in the home. It's important to mention that he was and still is an affectionate human being. He struggled to manage his anger up until he became a grandfather. I suspect that he still struggles with it, but due to his new role as a person who his grandchildren look up to and adore he has learned to bridle his temper. Both temper and ego are similar in that they can work against you if left unchecked. Now, my father remains calm as a kitten in spite of the chaos these sweet children prodigiously generate. It took years before he finally got a handle on his rage, an accomplishment for which I am very proud.
People are funny. We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds, yet one thing we all share in common is our self-interest. We forget about others and get distracted in our own world; we cause mostly unintended transgressions against our brothers and sisters on the road. Cell phones, daydreams, food or whatever takes our focus off the task at hand and often leads to accidents. In participating in potentially dangerous activities, it becomes paramount to safety of self and others by maintaining focus and self control. Alcohol, drugs, and temperament can impair one's ability to maintain focus. Every single one of us has had moments where we surrendered control of ourselves to such vices. We're only human, but with practice we can work on regaining our power to not be victims to these temptations.
When 'triggers' that elicit behaviors such as rage present themselves, understand that the power to react is within one's control. You can choose to laugh, cry, or succumb to your vice. My personal favorite strategy is to laugh off the offense, sometimes choosing to sing a ridiculous song. When I see the instigator at a signal light I can often make them laugh from my car while smiling and singing the song inspired by their outrageous driving behavior.
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
― Unknown
We are more powerful than we think. Our thoughts can determine our attitudes, which can affect our performance. Be good to yourself, speak kindly, and act with compassion so that you might have the ability to conserve your power. This way you retain control under situations of stress that require your full attention. Negative thoughts, words, and actions like anger, rob us of our strength to be brave especially when we can lead by example. They limit our ability to act. Our strength can inspire others to dispel negative energy and reinforce positive behaviors. It's doubtful to me now to think some people are born better suited to tasks such as driving, sports, or anything competitive. I have learned that self-limiting thoughts, words, and beliefs can lead to limited performance; whereas, practice in self control can lead to the limitless attitude of Champions (like my Dad).
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